Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Letter to (Patrick) From -Kat

Dear Patrick you have a strong introduction paragrah and a strong voice. You give clear examples, and exsplain your points clearly. However i would encourage you to use more metaphors and also make sure not to seperate your paragraphs when you give examples. I feel you should use more transition words. Good job on expanding your ideas and relating them to your own exsperience as well as others. You keep the writer intrested and wanting to know more. I feel you should share more emotion with your examples though other than that you did a fantastic job.
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4 comments:

  1. Patrick A. MerriweatherAugust 15, 2012 at 9:42 AM

    :') Thanks Kat-A-Lat!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Katherine LAugust 15, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    Also good Topic name for your paper "Its not the circle of life, its the culture of life" Good metaphore

    ReplyDelete
  3. Katherine LAugust 15, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    Pat mo Money lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Patrick A. MerriweatherAugust 15, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    Thank, I was watching the Lion King when I was writing my paper.

    ReplyDelete

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